I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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