omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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