I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
