My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
How does it feel to date your dad?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
