I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
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Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You need a sexual gate keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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