Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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