her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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