so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Can you bring me the toilet please
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
