all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
