If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
so let's talk penis.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
