Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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