I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
how does that bad decision feel?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
