awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
do nipples grow back?
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