so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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