I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
