Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
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