is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Randomize
