Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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