just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
