yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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