Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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