im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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