trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
