how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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