Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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