So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
