Too much gin, very little bucket
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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