I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
