My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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