marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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