i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
