her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
