i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
