hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
