dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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