its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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