i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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