How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You dont lie about slip and slides
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Randomize
