my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
