I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
