so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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