# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
