Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
