let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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