im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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