We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
