I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
