So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
