Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
