can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize
