she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
