you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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