You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
