Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
