Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
