They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
