I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
