obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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