The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
