He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize