I must be too annoying 4 u.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
