My friends, they love my intelligence
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
