so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
