Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
