I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
