I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
