I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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